Book Review: Always Picked Last: Conquering the Bullies: A Guide To Finding Your Way in Life…

Always Picked Last: Conquering the Bullies - A Guide to Finding Your Way in Life


My good friend and Kevin Kearns of Burn with Kearns MMA Fitness asked me to read his book “Always Picked Last Conquering the Bullies: A Guide to Finding your Way in Life.” I thought it interesting that with all Kevin’s accomplishments in the fitness world and preparing MMA fighters for the ring, that the topic of bullying was his choice for a book. After all Kevin has been a martial artist and fitness trainer for well over a decade. I meant Kevin myself as a trainer who wanted to get into teaching law enforcement how to handle themselves physically and their wellness. Back in 2001 Kevin was kind enough to come in and teach my own department proper method of stick fighting in an effort to improve our skills with the police baton. It was one of the best courses of baton instruction we had ever had.

Kevin’s book is not a how to book on preventing bully with a list of policies and procedures marking the way for you to travel through the ups and downs of bullying. Instead the book is a powerful life story, of “Kevin’s life” and the ups and downs he had to experience and learn from to become the person he is today. The book discusses through story’s a actual incidents of bulling he experienced from so called friends he grew up with in his younger years. There are a powerful couple of chapters on his experiences at 12 years of age with the loss of his dad. The focus of the book in my view is really about CHARACTER and its effect on not only preventing or deterring all forms of bulling but in persevering through the ups and downs, trials and tribulations of life.

It reminded me of a term I often use “walking our talk” and the importance of the attribute, strength of character is in our lives. I broke the word CHARACTER down like this:

C ommitment-to yourself and to others, never to accept or participate in Bullying!

H onesty-in all that you do! Be aware of SELF and OTHERS Behavior!

A ccountability-for all that you do, right or wrong…Own up, APOLOGIZE and move on!

R espect-one another and earn it! If you cannot say it too my face…Don’t send it through cyberspace!

A ttitude-be focused on resolving problems with POSITIVE CONFRONTATION

C ourage-to walk the talk of our commitments…NO BULLYING ALLOWED!

T rust-must be mutual TWO-WAY and earned. Trust yourself to do what's right!

E thics and Integrity-doing what's right even in tough situations.

R esponsibility-for your actions, is paramount to keeping a Bully free environment!

This concept made perfect sense when applied to the topic of bullying. Human problems center in my view, around human attributes. We discussed these attributes that build on character and how they can hold true if we commit with strength of character and confront the problem of bullying or any other life problem, head on! With Positive Confrontation!

That is right, POSITIVE CONFRONTATION, standing up and saying what needs to be said and walking the talk of NO BULLYING. This means confronting the problem and using positive means to put an end to it. Mainly interpersonal communication and a cohesive environment, those we can trust to stand up with us to end this. Bullying has always been around and more than likely always will remain. But it is amazing at how it ends when the BULLY is confronted with words from a cohesive group, that his behavior will SIMPLY not be tolerated.

I know what you’re thinking, CONFRONTATION is not very PC (Politically Correct) but, PC-POSITIVE CONFRONTATION is PC-PEOPLE CORRECT! It can help you triumph over adversity!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Kevin’s book and recommend it to people of all age. The book as well as the man I know Kevin Kearns speaks to the importance of commitment in triumphing over any obstacle we encounter in life be it bullying or otherwise. Kevin’s own words speak to his own character and what he hopes to accomplish with this book.” If you want to know my reasons behind writing this, it's simple. If I can help one person or child turns the corner after reading my story, then my life has been worth it. I wrote this to help kids like me and adults who struggle with this. My intention was to build awareness, align with likeminded people, get the book into every school in America and go out and speak on this subject at schools and alike.” No more really needs to be said about Kevin other than, It is an honor to call him my friend. The lessons learned in this great book will help you succeed.

“COMMITMENT is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions which speak louder than words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism.”~ Abraham Lincoln

Stay Oriented!